The H.E.R Way program is the absolute truth. In each session I was enlightened and empowered to take much needed actions to change my thinking, my behavior, and thusly my life. After session 1 I realized the significance of how being a fatherless daughter impacted my entire life and all the decisions I made up to this very day. The knowledge and support I received from Bernadette Jackson was priceless and I used her wisdom and support to evaluate every relationship in my life to determine whether they were quality relationships based on truth, honesty, support, loyalty and being mutually beneficial. I realized some where not. More importantly I realized that in some cases my lack of transparency and unwillingness to be vulnerable was a huge contributing factor as to why the relationship didn’t meet the latter stated criteria.

Through the H.E.R Way program I realized that I haven’t fully shown up in my relationships. I had my guard up and at times was emotionally unavailable. Therefore, I wasn’t being honest or present. I loved that Bernadette coached me and challenged me to use my feminine voice and to dig deep and evaluate what I was really feeling so that the end result can truly address my needs. When I exist in a space where I’m open and willing to be vulnerable I can better access whether or not a person or a thing is a good fit for me. I no longer feel the need to beg people to stay past their expiration date. I can walk away knowing that I have appropriately evaluated the situation and I adequately showed up to give it my best. I have even learned to set healthy boundaries. Having clear boundaries that are stated helped me to be more in control of my emotions. I didn’t have to act out to feel heard or seen. After being taught about the relationship cycles I was able to easily see my pattern of fight or flight, or choosing what is familiar yet unhealthy. I also can easily determine if someone has the capacity to meet my needs. If they don’t I can implement the consequence to my boundary. Therefore I am not left with lingering feelings of doubt, regret, or questioning what’s wrong with me.

The most powerful work I’ve done as a result of this program is write letters to both of my parents. One has been placed in the mail and the other I’m still writing. As I’m writing I feel a new level of clarity coming through and whether or not I get responses, or the type of response that I desire I know that I will be ok. The truth of the matter is, although my father was not present or emotionally available, I am worthy, I am loved, I am valuable, I am smart, I have purpose, and I have great people in my life.

There were so many AHA moments that I could go on. I am so grateful for being able to participate in this process. I feel so empowered and I can trust myself again to have the right tools to better evaluate situations. I no longer feel like a paranoid hurt little girl but an empowered and enlightened woman who is ready to take on the world.